


Start Again

by BowsAndTies



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post-Break Up, Valentine's Day, some crying but lots of fluff!!, they're exes but still kind of friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 01:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5987248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BowsAndTies/pseuds/BowsAndTies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has the flu and has no other choice but to call his ex when there's no one else around to help him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Start Again

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been having this idea for two years now (I wanted to write it for V-day in 2014) but I was never able to write it how I wanted, so I gave up for a (long) time. I'm so happy to have finally finished it!!

January 20, 2016

Louis nearly throws himself out of his bed when he sees Harry's caller ID on his phone, a bit dramatic maybe, but to be fair they haven't talked to each other for a year. Why is he calling him? Maybe it's an accident, maybe he clicked on the wrong person on his contacts list? But then he probably would've hung up already, right?

He contemplates if he's going to answer it or not for a few seconds. He isn't sure if he wants to talk to him, ever again, only because it will complicate things. 

Their break up was mutual, but it didn't make it any easier. It absolutely tore him apart, he was unable to leave Liam's couch for weeks, and at some point he thought he was going to die from heart break, even though that's not very likely to happen.

He clears his throat, because he's literally just woken up, why the hell is he calling at 8 AM on a Saturday anyways?

"Hello?" He says, sounding shakier than he thought he would. 

All he can hear on the other end is coughing, then there's a moment of silence, before he can hear a croaky hello.

"Is this Harry?" He frowns down at his wooden floor.

"Yeah hi, sorry-" he has another coughing fit, and Louis is starting to worry "but I kind of need your help right now." Louis gets up from his bed, and starts putting together his outfit for the day, he doesn't know what it is that he needs help with yet, but he knows he's not going to say no.

"Alright, what is it?"

Harry hesitates, "uhm, just forget about it, I'm sorry for bothering you."

Louis can hear he's about to hang up, "no wait, I'll gladly help you, don't worry about it."

Harry sighs, "okay, I think I have the flu and I need some stuff from the store. I tried to call Niall and Nick but they're both at work, so you were the only option left." It shouldn't bother Louis this much that Harry chose him only because he had to. 

"Alright, I'll be there in half an hour." He doesn't have to ask what he needs, because he already knows. 

"Thank you," Harry says while coughing.

Louis pulls his skinny jeans and Adidas jumper on, brushes his teeth and fixes his hair for maybe a bit longer than usual.

Louis forgets how to breathe when Harry opens up the door to his flat, he looks gorgeous even with sickly pale skin, a red nose and tired eyes. Louis can't keep the smile off his face. 

"Hi," he breathes out. Harry gives him a weak smile and moves out of the way so he can walk in.

Harry's flat smells like cinnamon and apples, it's cozy and warm, and very tidy, just like you'd expect from a person like him. That's why they worked so well as a couple, because Louis would leave his stuff everywhere and Harry would go after him and put them back where they were supposed to be. Harry complaining about his bad habits is a fond memory for him, even though it sometimes would end up in stupid little fights.

Louis hands the bag of groceries to Harry, before he turns on his heels to head out the door again. 

"You can stay if you want," Harry says hurriedly, stopping Louis in his tracks before it's too late.

Louis didn't expect that, he thought he was just being a delivery guy. Louis turns around and says, "alright, I'll stay for a while."

"A while" means hours apperantly. Harry and Louis ends up watching a movie on the TV, though Louis cares more about the fact that he's only mere centimeters away from the guy he loved for four years, and still does if he were being honest. 

Louis looks at Harry, dares to study his face for a while. He looks the same as he did when he left him, except for more facial hair and more visible fine lines, his lips looks the same, deep red and oh so kissable even when chapped. Harry is struggling to stay awake, his eyes slipping closed more often as time goes on, Louis wonders if he should leave and let him rest.

"Are you hungry?" Harry's eyes snaps open, he shakes his head. He moves around on the couch a bit, trying to get comfortable. "I want to cuddle," he murmurs. Louis freezes up, did he really just say that?

Harry looks at him, his front teeth biting his bottom lip, waiting patiently for a response. It's not like Louis is going to say no to his probably only opportunity to be this close to Harry ever again. "Alright, get up so I can lay down then." Harry slowly gets up from the couch, his muscles sore and joints stiff. Louis lays down on his back and Harry lays down on top of him, with his head on his chest. Harry is really hot, warmer than usual, he's probably got a fever, Louis thinks.

Louis puts his right hand in his hair, letting his fingers glide through his incredibly soft, curly locks. It's maybe going a bit too far, but he knows how much Harry loves it, and Harry's little sounds of being content confirms it. Louis loves how long his hair has gotten, all the way down to his shoulders, he looks like an angel.

Harry falls asleep on him, Louis falls asleep soon after. He hasn't felt this good in a long time.

Louis wakes up some time later, it's dark outside now and the rain falls heavily on the windows. He feel so cozy he never wants to leave. Harry is slowly blinking awake, he's drooled on his jumper, but Louis don't mind. "Hi sleepy head," Louis whispers, Harry's lips curves into a smile. "Do you feel better now?" Harry nods his head, though he's probably not telling the truth. Harry lets him play with his hair for a little longer, before he gets up and says, "gotta pee," Louis watches him wobbly walking to the toilet. He's a bit anxious to leave him alone later.

Speaking of leaving, Louis glances at his phone to check the time, it's almost 8 PM. He can't believe he's been here for so long, where did the time go? Louis sends a text to Zayn, asking him to check up on Harry after he leaves. He sits up when Harry comes back, "I think I better get going, I have work tomorrow," he says apologetically. He hates how Harry's face falls.

"Do you really have to leave?" Harry asks, his lips is slightly tilted down and his eyes look sad. Louis looks away because he can't handle it, he'd give in.

Harry's panicking, he feels like if he lets him go now he'll never have him again.

"Yeah I think that's for the best." Louis picks up his coat and puts it on. He turns around and sees Harry with his face covered by his hands, his body is slightly shaking and he's breathing heavier. Louis swallows, tries to get rid of the lump in his throat.

He sits down next to him, tries to remove Harry's hands from his face, but he just turns away from him, in an attempt at hiding his emotions. Louis strokes his back, "I'll come visit later, okay?" Harry's still crying, but he nods his head. Louis is not happy with that, he doesn't want to leave when he knows Harry is sad. 

"It's just my stupid fever, it fucks with my emotions," Harry manages to say inbetween sobs. Louis awkwardly hugs him from the side, he wish he could wrap his arms around his whole body and hold him close, but the position they're in makes it difficult. He holds him until he's stopped crying. Harry wipes away the tears with the sleeves of his sweater. Harry avoids looking at him, too embarrased over his emotional breakdown.

"You should eat some food," Louis says, as he puts on his shoes, "and Zayn'll come by and keep you with company for the night."

"Thanks again, it was nice seeing you." Harry follows him to the front door, even though every cell in his body screams at him for begging him to stay. Louis hugs him one last time, and presses his face into his neck, it's such a familiar feeling, but at the same time a whole new sensation, weird.

"I'll come by soon, yeah?" Louis says, Harry's not sure if that's true, but he nods and smiles anyways.

Harry stands in the hallway a while after Louis left, and wishes he said what he wanted to say; "please stay, I love you."

February 10, 2016

"I knew I shouldn't have believed him," Liam sighs because this is the third time Harry's said it. "Maybe he's just busy, had to take some extra hours at works or something," Liam watches as Harry stirs his tea, even though his tea must have gone cold by now, and he's probably not going to drink it. "He could've sent a text or something, it only takes a few seconds," Harry grumbles. Liam can tell he's getting annoyed, because he's stirring faster, and doesn't care when some of it splashes outside of the mug. 

"I shouldn't have brought him back into my life again," okay thats just sad, "I was doing so well." Liam puts his hand on Harry's, which stops him from splashing tea everywhere.

"I'm sure there's a reason for it," Liam says, Harry just rolls his eyes. "Sure," he says as he gets up to spill his tea in the sink.

"Don't worry about it he'll come around when he's able to," Harry doesn't say anything back because he's not in the mood to argue.

December, 2014

Harry's no longer how he used to be, he's not happy, Louis can tell. He used to be so optimistic, had their whole life planned together. They planned to get a house, get married and eventually start a family, very cliche, but also very Harry. After four years none of these things had happened, which is fine, but they aren't getting any closer to achieving their goals either. They've moved in the wrong direction, slipped away from each other, even though that's not what any of them wants. Louis knows what's for the best when he hears Harry cry in the middle of the night, it's not like Louis isn't sad either, he's had a good amount of emotional breakdowns in the shower as well.

They sit down to talk about it. Harry says he can't handle being in a relationship where he has to hide from the other persons family. Harry isn't mad at him though, he knows how scary it is to come out to the family, to risk being rejected from the people that matters the most. Louis cries, because he doesn't want to lose any of them. But Louis wants him to be truly happy, and if Harry's not able to be happy with him, then he has to let go. Harry insist they'll make it through, that they'll "figure something out," but they both know they're too weak and it'd probably only make it worse. So they both let each other go. It's a painful process.

February 14, 2016

Harry groans when he hear someone ring the doorbell followed by a few knocks on the door. He's had a bad day, he's tired and he does not want to get up from the couch, at all. The doorbell goes off again, and he's had enough, he's going to tell them to fuck off, no matter who it is, because all he wants is a relaxing evening by himself. 

He opens the door and he definitely did not think it'd be Louis standing there. Louis is looking down at his feet, until he realizes Harry finally opened the door, he looks up in surprise, as if he didn't expect him to. "Hey," he says, he smiles but it quickly fades away again, maybe Harry looked a little angrier than he actually meant to. Harry makes a concious effort to soften his face, because even though Louis didn't come around when he said he would, he doesn't want to be an asshole to him after he was being so nice to him. "Hey, Lou, didn't expect to see you tonight," Harry wants to slap himself in the face, because that sounded a tiny bit too bitter. Louis shuffles a bit, looking awkward. "Was it a bad time to come around?" he asks, and while Harry thinks so, it's not like he's going to say it. "Not at all, come in," Harry lets him in and Louis kicks his shoes off in the hallway. 

It's not until they're in the living room that Harry notices Louis brought flowers, he suddenly feels warm and tingly.

Louis notices that Harry is looking at the flowers, he hands them to him, "happy Valentine's Day," he says with a small smile, he looks uncertain, scared of Harry's reaction. Harry takes them, admires the beauty of the red roses for a while. Harry used to love Valentine's Day, but he didn't even realize it this time. "Thank you, that's very sweet of you," Harry says, Louis visibly become less tense after that. Harry puts the roses in a vase before he joins Louis on the couch.

They sit in silence for a while, there's so much to say, but neither of them does. Harry takes a sip of his red wine, though he'd rather have a few shots of vodka right now. "Do you want some?" Louis looks up at his face, then at the glass touching his lips, he watches him swallow and sees the grimace on his face, Harry never liked red wine very much. "No thanks, I'm driving home later," Louis smiles at him, Harry doesn't say anything. 

"So, uhm-" Harry pauses for second, wondering if he shouldn't bring this up, but decides he definitely want to ask about it, "why did it take so long for you to come back?" Louis is looking down at his lap, fiddling with his hands, he swallows nervously.

"I went up North for a while," Harry's confused, "I talked to mum about some stuff." That doesn't make Harry any less confused, "what-" Louis interrupts him and audibly inhales air, "I came out to her, the whole family actually."

Harry's shocked, actually forgets how to breathe for a moment, he notices Louis is trembling.

"How did it go?" Harry asks quietly, Louis has tears running down his cheeks, Harry's heart sinks.

"It went fine, they were all fine with it, Harry." He sounds almost angry. Harry hasn't seen him cry this hard in such a long time, he wants to comfort him but doesn't know how.

"Then what's the problem?" Louis looks him in the eyes, his eyes are bloodshot and they're filled with tears, his eyes looks more blue than usual.

"I lost you for nothing," he turns his gaze away from Harry. Louis is broken and fragile and so small, and all Harry want to do is put him back together, make him the strong and powerful man he knows him as.

"Lou-" Harry gets up in front of him and bends down to properly hug him, Louis presses his face into his neck. "I miss you so much, Harry," he mumbles into his neck. Harry pulls away only so he can kiss him, Louis doesn't react for what feels like forever, but when he does he puts his hand around Harry's neck and leans into it. Harry missed this, missed the feeling of his warm, soft lips pressed against his, and even his stubble stabbing his skin, he used to say that there would not be any kisses before he shaved, but Harry doesn't even care about that now.

Harry pulls back to get some air, "miss you too," he says.

Louis decides to drink some wine, and they kiss a lot more. 

February 15, 2016

Harry wakes up with a huge smile on his face, which does not happen very often, he feel lighter than air and excited for what the future will bring. He rolls closer to Louis and puts his arm around his sleeping figure. Harry touches him and smells him, doesn't even care that that's kind of creepy, he just can't get enough of him. "Mum said she wanted to come visit next week," Louis mumbles, Harry didn't know he was awake, "that's great." Louis can hear the smile on his face, Harry presses a kiss to his neck.

"Does that mean I should tell her that's okay?"

"Yes."

June 19, 2016

"Honestly Louis, it's impossible to move all this shit into our house, we have to get rid of some of it," Harry's looking at all the brown boxes, there's so many of them he gave up on counting them. 

"Okay," they start looking through the boxes, deciding that they can get rid of about half of it.

They both had saved up money, took a home loan and got the most wonderful house they could ever dream of. The house is white and has a white fence, very family-ish. It's got a nice, big garden, and the house is close to everything that's important, like their jobs. They can live there together forever.

February 14, 2018

Louis wipes his sweaty hands on his trousers, he's so nervous he could throw up. It's like being back in school and having to talk in front of the whole class, except not really, this is a lot better. Harry looks a bit anxious at the other side of the table, must sense that Louis' not totally how he usually is. The little blue velvet box is burning a hole in his pocket, being constantly in the back of his mind. Harry's brows are furrowed, his eyes never moving away from Louis' face. Louis gives him a reassuring smile and continues eating his food, even though he'd really like to get on his knee right away. But he has to wait, he wants to make this as special and romantic as possible. They finish their dinner and eats the dessert slowly, too slow in Louis' opinion. The waitress he told keeps staring at him, giving him encouraging smiles, Louis only hope Harry doesn't notice. 

And finally it's coming to an end, Louis gets up, and Harry's looking up at him in confusion. He gets down on his knee, and everyone is staring at them, with big smiles on their faces. It takes a while for Harry to realize what's happening, but when he does, his face breaks into a huge smile, Louis would do anything to make Harry smile that big every day.

Louis pulls the box out from his pocket, opens it and displays the silver ring band, "will you marry me?"

He doesn't know why he was so nervous, because he already knows what Harry's going to say.

"Yes." 

They kiss, and Louis slips the ring on Harry's ringfinger.


End file.
